Sunday, October 19, 2008

on frankness

There are two extremes when it comes to being honest with people. There is the overly frank, to the point of being unnecessarily rough, and there is the one who we'll call overly "kind" and refuses to point out the other person's flaws for any reason.

Pope Shenouda addresses extreme frankness;
You want to be sincere in defending the Truth. But your frankness often hurts people, they become upset and take a stand against you.
You ought to speak gently and wisely, with consideration for the feelings of others, as our Lord spoke to the Samaritan woman, so that he won her soul without hurting her (John 4).
-Pope Shenouda's Experiences in Life

and the other extreme, insincerity:

This hypocrite who speaks different from what is in his heart - his looks reveal him, as the eye is often the mirror of the heart which shows all his feelings. The features of his face or the tones of his voice could disclose him. The spiritual man is simple-hearted and does not conceal other than what he shows.

He is an open man, and what he says is what is in his heart. If he praises someone, he trusts him in his heart. If he apologizes, his apology truly comes out of his heart. Another may apologize, but his apology is not accepted because it does not come out of the heart.
-Pope Shenouda's Spiritual Man

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